On the heels of last weeks posts, I’m still thinking about dreams and aspirations. If you’re familiar with mindfulness, meditation or any of the associated practices, you probably know about the concept of attachment.
It is so easy, and so human, to associate our sense of self to outside factors. These include material things, experiences (both pleasant and unpleasant), even loved ones. The process of attachment is a formative factor in who we are. It makes sense that we feel attached to people, and even to places and things. And yet, the pull that these external forces exert on us can redirect our forward momentum in ways that are easy to miss.
The title of today’s post refers to something a therapist once said, and I think it expresses a crucial part of human experience beautifully. It’s easy to be attached to a version of ourselves that is familiar, even though we are continually in flux. And as external factors change, disappear or simply lose their immediate relevance to us, we will do well to shift perspective, rather than maintain static notions of who we are. We may lock into the ‘noun’ version of self, the one that feels solid and to which we can return time and again for reassurance. But the ‘verb’ you is not able to stay within those parameters indefinitely, and may struggle against the constraints of a self image that is too rigid to accommodate where we’re going or who we’re becoming..
There are things I’m proud of, accomplishments that I feel define me. There are also things I’ve never found the time for, though I have always wanted to. I have to stop sometimes and remind myself that my present day accomplishments were once just untested ideas. Therefore, my current unrealized dreams can easily become future accomplishments. My attachment to the present day version of myself both rewards me for what I’ve already done, and, paradoxically, sows doubt about who I can be down the road, because the future is always uncertain. We can celebrate the distance we’ve traveled without being bound to the present day version of ourselves. The things we’ve already done provide a foundation upon which we build our future selves. We evolve continuously.
So how does this relate to Interior Design? It’s about allowing yourself to pursue new avenues, new goals for yourself, and new visions of your perfect environment. Give yourself permission to dream, and write it all down. There are no repercussions for this because no one but you ever has to see it. We are all in a state of becoming, and so we are always moving from who we were to who we will be. Who do you want to be? Where do you see yourself? These are the questions to ask as you imagine your best home.